otis

i'm pretty into how aziz pops in under the radar in this shit.

i'm just tryin to get my hands on one of these.

rock me like a furricane

i'm really not concerned about the hurricane situation but my mother is a different story. it's as if cnn told her personally to prepare for the coming apocalypse. i'm not about to complain though because due to the weather i am in for a weekend of sister time, hurricane sangria and maple syrup cinnamon buns and those are three of my most favorite things so i'm very lucky. stay safe boners and don't try and be a hero.

well what are the odds?

 the rum diary trailer is FINALLY here. i've already watched it about three times. you better fucking enjoy it too.

i just don't like change you guys

so my family has been calling me out for being a novice hoarder ever since i was ten and asked if i could put our old refrigerator in my room when we got a new one. i still think that would have been awesome because i would have then been able to enjoy ice cold beverages in the comfort of my own room. but, we are getting off topic.

my family had a huge yard sale last weekend and when i found out they were planning on selling my childhood bed frame i freaked the fuck out. like, i'm talking full on mental breakdown. i always thought that i would have that furniture and even though it seems stupid i was sad to see it go. i don't like change or letting go but i'm starting to learn that it might be a big part of growing up/a pair.

but after they couldn't even pay someone to take it i decided that i was right and i'm never letting go of that bed. ever.

perfection

i'm about 19 different kinds of obsessed with hunter s. thompson and i'm sure i'm going to blog about everything i love about him eventually. however, right now i'm all about re-reading "The Rum Diary" and from time to time i just stare at the cover and think about how if i saw this man my panties would drop faster than you could say, "gonzo."

where is her people stylewatch cover?

like, seriously this is something i wish for every month and my heart keeps getting broken. i want to be best of friends with dakota just so i can go through everything he owns and steal about 90% of it. guys, all i want is to be wearing what she is wearing all the time! am i asking for too much?!

oh hot damn

guys. this. fucking. song.

i wish i could pull off disco pants

for those of you who don't know who alexis krauss is i don't care to know who you are because you are clearly the fucking worst. however, i will not allow you to be culturally ignorant any longer. alexis krauss is the lead (and only) singer of the mind blowing-ly loud guitar riff duo, sleigh bells. i strive to be the coolest human being alive and i usually am but not when it comes to pulling off disco pants. every single time i think that i'm being stupid and can of course wear them while looking fly as fuck, i think about who my guy friends are. they are the type who do not hesitate to ask me where the bottom half of my shirt went when i wear crop tops or ask if i was attacked by bears on the way to the party when i wear my shredded jeans. therefore, i can only fucking imagine the field day they would have if they saw me wearing disco pants. thus ends my heartbreaking tale of love and disco pants.

"this never got the credit it deserved"

no. no it didn't.

because you never know when you might accidentally murder someone

guys! i saw the coolest/cutest kid today at work. he wore chucks and said things like "your shirt is fly." like, honestly i was about two shakes of a lambs tail away from stealing him from his parents. this is a big deal for me because i strongly dislike children. what most people don't know though is that at the root of my hatred is a very real fear that i'm going to accidentally kill one of them. i don't mean this in a "i'm going to lose my temper and press on their soft spot" type way. i mean it in the "i'm afraid i'm going to be standing behind one of them on the T landing, slip on a puddle of some homeless guy's piss, have my legs go out from under me and as i fall i kick it on the back of the head and send it flying onto the T tracks" way. i'm aware that this will probably NEVER FUCKING HAPPEN. but, i also never thought i would see michael jordan while on vacation in aruba. moral of the story is you never know what might happen so STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM KIDS and that kid was fucking cute.

like crazy

the trailer for anton yelchin's new movie "Like Crazy" pulls at the few strings connected to my cold dead heart. not only because he is sexy as fuck but because it is the story of a young college couple who fall in luuurve with each other only to be ripped apart by that damn immigration department. ugh, they are the fucking worst. but seriously this shit makes me real sad. not only for the obvious reasons but because i personally know how painful long distance relationships are and it upsets me to see anton suffer as i have. now clearly i am going to see this movie, compare it to my own experience and conclude that mine was worse even though these two are separated by an ocean and mine was only a state line. yet still, no one has suffered quite as badly as i have. also, that cover of fools rush in makes my heart hurt. that is all.

pootie tang

i'm not afraid to confess to you that i watched pootie tang for the first time this past week and i loved that shit for real. with gems like this one it's hard to imagine that anyone could dislike this film. i don't know if you have to be high to enjoy pootie tang but it most definitely helps.

if you are into this i'm into you.

the champ is here

if you know me, you know that i find myself very amusing and i like to think that everyone else feels the same way. therefore, i have decided to take the plunge and let you all know what i am thinking about everything that i believe is important. this includes, but is not limited to, television, books, movies, music, my road rage, why i think my best friend's cape house is haunted, my dislike for children, and my ability to make almost any situation i find myself in, the single most awkward experience of my life.

i would say that i hope you all enjoy reading but... like seriously, how could you fucking not?

p.s. this blog will be full of grammatical errors. CAUSE I JUST DON'T GIVE A FUCK.