guys! i saw the coolest/cutest kid today at work. he wore chucks and said things like "your shirt is fly." like, honestly i was about two shakes of a lambs tail away from stealing him from his parents. this is a big deal for me because i strongly dislike children. what most people don't know though is that at the root of my hatred is a very real fear that i'm going to accidentally kill one of them. i don't mean this in a "i'm going to lose my temper and press on their soft spot" type way. i mean it in the "i'm afraid i'm going to be standing behind one of them on the T landing, slip on a puddle of some homeless guy's piss, have my legs go out from under me and as i fall i kick it on the back of the head and send it flying onto the T tracks" way. i'm aware that this will probably NEVER FUCKING HAPPEN. but, i also never thought i would see michael jordan while on vacation in aruba. moral of the story is you never know what might happen so STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM KIDS and that kid was fucking cute.
