if this doesn't make your day, i don't want to know you anymore

this... @thziegler1: still waiting for a brink 2. jussayin #wakeupdisney

reminded me that i had all of these permanently bookmarked forever. enjoy.

p.s. my friends jimmy, matt, and dodger were team pup 'n suds for halloween. they didn't get enough ass or credit for that.

not so unbreakable

i'm such a fucking joke. saturday night i was super classy and absurdly drunk at the annual winter formal (i looked great by the way, thanks for asking). it was honestly one of the best nights of the year but, one thing led to another and i woke up with a broken elbow. which fucking blows because it really wasn't an epic fall or story AT ALL  and it is my first broken bone. i always thought my first broken bone would be from getting too real with a polar bear or superman diving out a window. i'm still slightly confused about how i am such a fucking mess and still allowed to live.

but i must shout out to my girl big L for not only driving me to the er sunday morning, but picking up kfc on the way there, filling out all my paperwork, making me laugh for about two hours straight, dropping off my prescription at cvs, and putting my hair up whenever i ask her. she really is the greatest friend i could ever ask for. sorry for getting emotional but the vicodin is really doing a number on me.

happy fucking friday

he was nominated for a grammy. things are getting out of control.

nothing dries me up faster than a twilight movie. bella and edward have the most awkward sex possible.

it's official. i'm obsessed with rihanna. i mean, i've always been moderately into her but it always came with a healthy portion of annoyance and eye-rolling. this is no longer the case. i can't stop listening to talk that talk, we found love, and you da one. seriously. I. CAN'T. STOP. collectively these songs have been played 94 times on my iTunes since last week. i'm officially another annoying bitch at the party that screams when rihanna hits up the party playlist. i hate myself.

i don't understand why i'm not seeing any pictures of dakota fanning anywhere these days. like, i NEED to see how she is dressing for fall/winter so i know what i should be wearing. i thought i would see at least a little something since a new twilight movie is coming out but i'm getting nada. i'm beyond pissed.

i'm aware that hanna came out awhile ago and it was an only okay movie but the score is a whole different story. the chemical brothers KILLED it. i've recently become re-obsessed with the score and it makes walking to class so much more badass.

yeaaah thats my shit.

today i left a 300 person lecture because i was convinced that the girl who chooses to sit next to me every class would pick today as the day to follow me home, kill me, and wear me like a skin suit. the end.

i'm a shining star

this happened

i just bought an american tail on demand.

so i’m probably the coolest human being alive about 85% of the time but tonight the other 15% is taking over. i’ve had a rough time at life the past five days, due to the fact that i lived without power, heat, hot water, cable, or internet for more than 20 hours which was pretty much the worst thing to ever happen since the holocaust. my lack of sleep and absurd work load hasn’t helped my situation much either. therefore, i shall be spending my night watching old episodes of dexter and no reservations while eating a calzone. it’s lounge o’clock son!

i've had about six separate cases of writers block in the past 20 hours. each of which came with it's own minor to moderate mental breakdown. so if you are looking to have any type of social interaction with me in the next 12 hours i would advise against it.

my hangover cures

one of my best friends turned 21 on wednesday so i pretty much died. like, we were cut-off at the bar. i've NEVER been cut-off before. buuuuut it was for the best because we got home and i was somehow more drunk than she was and was acting a fool in my living room. so needless to say i was in pain yesterday and the only two things that made me feel better both came from my big duck, A.

i usually don't like things that make me seem like a typical bitch but there are some exceptions, and one of them is the hunger games. i am obsessed with this shit for real. i got so excited when i saw the posters i almost threw up. that could have just been the hangover though. but for serious, i DIE for cinna.

the other girly shit that i'm obsessed with is jazzy nails. i go fucking nuts for glitter nail polish and when my sister told me to look at the muppets opi collection i thought it was only because i have a very real attraction to animal but boy was i wrong. this is my shit. SIX glittery nail polishes! are you fucking kidding me?! i hope you all enjoy my jazzy nails for the next three months.

i've been pretty heavy on the tracks lately, but my friend trevor sent me this remix because he knows about my secret obsession with zero 7 and my not so secret obsession with awesomeness. i'm pretty into it.

rihanna's new video won me over. she can be my girl now.

you guuuuuuuuuuys

i've always loved the xx, the weekend, and peter bjorn and john but for some reason they have been dominating my ipod in a very real way. (rip stevie j) i don't know why but i feel like their sounds just go with fall. but for serious, have a fella put on house of balloons and consider me seduced.

i'm currently sitting on my couch alone chugging pumpkin beer because i'm too lazy to stand up and get my cellphone to contact my roommates. this is where i'm at in my life.

instead of studying for my exams...

this will be playing in every drunk bitch's dorm room in southwest in about a week and a half. i'm still not afraid to feel it for fucking real though.

squirrel talk

last night i ventured home to see girl talk with my big duck and her man. after hearing from my friends that girl talk has been "only okay" recently i was worried that he would just play All Day and call it a night. oh was i fucking mistaken. my boy threw DOWN. his new mash-ups had this girl dancing like a straight fool. much fun was had by all and i learned never to attempt to learn how to ride a bike after six too many drinks at 2am in the rain.

WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK WEEDS?

i know i'm a day late on this one but seriously...

WHAT THE  SHIT JUST HAPPENED!!???

alexis

this is my roommate from my freshman and sophomore years at college, alexis. she is easily the most vapid yet most interesting young woman i have ever met. she is clumsy, heavily medicated, surprisingly wise, an idiot savant, stupid funny, and the best worst drunk bitch. i have grown to love her over the past two years but it hasn’t always been a day at the fucking beach. i thought she was inconsiderate, stupid, and immature our whole first semester of college. (hey, you would have felt the same way if you woke up to her having sex at 4am when you had an 8am final.) however, she taught me the single most important lesson i could have learned in college; accept other people as who they are even if you don’t agree with or like it very much. by doing so i have gained a best friend that i will cherish forever.

fall premieres

i'm not going to bore you with my many thoughts about this week's premieres so i'll just give you bullet points of my favorite shows. enjoy, boners.

new girl: so fucking adorable. i love me a good lotr reference.

up all night: exactly the kind of parent i want to be.

always sunny: "tighter than dick skin" is my new favorite thing to say.

archer: i still want to be his main squeeze.

rachel zoe: mandana is a poor replacement for taylor.

how i met your mother: holyshitholyshitholyshit. victoria is back bitches.

modern family: “just so you guys know there is a fan in my cabin that sounds like a man crying.” i love that lily talks now

parks & reac: i’m scared of tammy 1.

that's it for now but i CAN'T FUCKING WAIT for 30 rock. my girl liz lemon best be getting straaaange this season.

who wants to get me a little something?

so i got a new macbook pro and i’m completely obsessed with it. the only problem is that i’m always super scared of owning new things. i’m afraid that i’m going to drop it or touch it the wrong way or accidentally spill skinny vanilla latte all over the keyboard and break it forever. buuut, for right now i’m trying to ignore my crippling fear and enjoy pressing all the new fancy buttons.

my life cycle

become so stressed out about my life that i start screaming at people for no reason, binge drink until i make a terrible decision, have a hangover induced epiphany that i have to change my life, realize that i am too baller to change.

so long beautiful

my week has been filled with finales and premieres and let me tell you, did not one disappoint. but for now we are going to focus on the goodbyes i had to say this weekend.

i must start with my one and only. the one that i have loved most dearly for the past eight years; entourage. my relationship with entourage has been like most long term relationships, you want to ripe their face off at times but they are the one you want taking care of you when you are sick or sitting with you when you are just bored as fuck. i remember i was on vacation with my family in aruba when i snuck up to my hotel room while everyone was still enjoying the salty sea breeze or some shit and watched the series premiere. i wasn't allowed to watch hbo at the ripe old age of 12 so i had to sneak into my half-finished basement to watch it every sunday night for three years or my mom would have cut my balls off. but, like all unhealthy relationships, ours too had to end. they made me laugh for eight years but now that it's all over all i can think about is how mrs. ari's name is melissa and how perfectly it fits.

true blood is a whole different fucking story. they have been mind fucking me left and right for four years now and even though i have read the books (refrain from commenting on my nerdiness if you value your life) and know that sookie kills debbie. i can not fucking believe they could possibly even think about killing off my main bitch tara. alan ball and i need to have a serious chat.

this makes me happy

it took me half the day, but this fishtail braid looks DOPE.

all day, everyday

if you know me you know i go batshit crazy for HBO's 24/7. right now it is all about the lead up to ortiz vs mayweather. however, even though ortiz has a very touching story, what with both his parents abandoning him and barely making it by his whole life. i can't help but be loving on mayweather's swagger. kid talks shit for DaYZz and i fucking love it. like, he's best friends with 50 and storms out of interviews. i'm in love.

usually i hate when guys have a bigger ego than me but floyd is something else. his record is mind blowing and he is baller as fuck. i'm thoroughly into him and what he's all about.

apparently i think this is an appropriate way to go out in public.

otis

i'm pretty into how aziz pops in under the radar in this shit.

i'm just tryin to get my hands on one of these.

rock me like a furricane

i'm really not concerned about the hurricane situation but my mother is a different story. it's as if cnn told her personally to prepare for the coming apocalypse. i'm not about to complain though because due to the weather i am in for a weekend of sister time, hurricane sangria and maple syrup cinnamon buns and those are three of my most favorite things so i'm very lucky. stay safe boners and don't try and be a hero.

well what are the odds?

 the rum diary trailer is FINALLY here. i've already watched it about three times. you better fucking enjoy it too.

i just don't like change you guys

so my family has been calling me out for being a novice hoarder ever since i was ten and asked if i could put our old refrigerator in my room when we got a new one. i still think that would have been awesome because i would have then been able to enjoy ice cold beverages in the comfort of my own room. but, we are getting off topic.

my family had a huge yard sale last weekend and when i found out they were planning on selling my childhood bed frame i freaked the fuck out. like, i'm talking full on mental breakdown. i always thought that i would have that furniture and even though it seems stupid i was sad to see it go. i don't like change or letting go but i'm starting to learn that it might be a big part of growing up/a pair.

but after they couldn't even pay someone to take it i decided that i was right and i'm never letting go of that bed. ever.

perfection

i'm about 19 different kinds of obsessed with hunter s. thompson and i'm sure i'm going to blog about everything i love about him eventually. however, right now i'm all about re-reading "The Rum Diary" and from time to time i just stare at the cover and think about how if i saw this man my panties would drop faster than you could say, "gonzo."

where is her people stylewatch cover?

like, seriously this is something i wish for every month and my heart keeps getting broken. i want to be best of friends with dakota just so i can go through everything he owns and steal about 90% of it. guys, all i want is to be wearing what she is wearing all the time! am i asking for too much?!

oh hot damn

guys. this. fucking. song.

i wish i could pull off disco pants

for those of you who don't know who alexis krauss is i don't care to know who you are because you are clearly the fucking worst. however, i will not allow you to be culturally ignorant any longer. alexis krauss is the lead (and only) singer of the mind blowing-ly loud guitar riff duo, sleigh bells. i strive to be the coolest human being alive and i usually am but not when it comes to pulling off disco pants. every single time i think that i'm being stupid and can of course wear them while looking fly as fuck, i think about who my guy friends are. they are the type who do not hesitate to ask me where the bottom half of my shirt went when i wear crop tops or ask if i was attacked by bears on the way to the party when i wear my shredded jeans. therefore, i can only fucking imagine the field day they would have if they saw me wearing disco pants. thus ends my heartbreaking tale of love and disco pants.

"this never got the credit it deserved"

no. no it didn't.

because you never know when you might accidentally murder someone

guys! i saw the coolest/cutest kid today at work. he wore chucks and said things like "your shirt is fly." like, honestly i was about two shakes of a lambs tail away from stealing him from his parents. this is a big deal for me because i strongly dislike children. what most people don't know though is that at the root of my hatred is a very real fear that i'm going to accidentally kill one of them. i don't mean this in a "i'm going to lose my temper and press on their soft spot" type way. i mean it in the "i'm afraid i'm going to be standing behind one of them on the T landing, slip on a puddle of some homeless guy's piss, have my legs go out from under me and as i fall i kick it on the back of the head and send it flying onto the T tracks" way. i'm aware that this will probably NEVER FUCKING HAPPEN. but, i also never thought i would see michael jordan while on vacation in aruba. moral of the story is you never know what might happen so STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM KIDS and that kid was fucking cute.

like crazy

the trailer for anton yelchin's new movie "Like Crazy" pulls at the few strings connected to my cold dead heart. not only because he is sexy as fuck but because it is the story of a young college couple who fall in luuurve with each other only to be ripped apart by that damn immigration department. ugh, they are the fucking worst. but seriously this shit makes me real sad. not only for the obvious reasons but because i personally know how painful long distance relationships are and it upsets me to see anton suffer as i have. now clearly i am going to see this movie, compare it to my own experience and conclude that mine was worse even though these two are separated by an ocean and mine was only a state line. yet still, no one has suffered quite as badly as i have. also, that cover of fools rush in makes my heart hurt. that is all.

pootie tang

i'm not afraid to confess to you that i watched pootie tang for the first time this past week and i loved that shit for real. with gems like this one it's hard to imagine that anyone could dislike this film. i don't know if you have to be high to enjoy pootie tang but it most definitely helps.

if you are into this i'm into you.

the champ is here

if you know me, you know that i find myself very amusing and i like to think that everyone else feels the same way. therefore, i have decided to take the plunge and let you all know what i am thinking about everything that i believe is important. this includes, but is not limited to, television, books, movies, music, my road rage, why i think my best friend's cape house is haunted, my dislike for children, and my ability to make almost any situation i find myself in, the single most awkward experience of my life.

i would say that i hope you all enjoy reading but... like seriously, how could you fucking not?

p.s. this blog will be full of grammatical errors. CAUSE I JUST DON'T GIVE A FUCK.