i was hungover for about 12 hours yesterday and my mother told me it was my own fault because i'm allergic to gluten and i drank about half a ton of beer. i told her to go fuck herself.

not so unbreakable

i'm such a fucking joke. saturday night i was super classy and absurdly drunk at the annual winter formal (i looked great by the way, thanks for asking). it was honestly one of the best nights of the year but, one thing led to another and i woke up with a broken elbow. which fucking blows because it really wasn't an epic fall or story AT ALL  and it is my first broken bone. i always thought my first broken bone would be from getting too real with a polar bear or superman diving out a window. i'm still slightly confused about how i am such a fucking mess and still allowed to live.

but i must shout out to my girl big L for not only driving me to the er sunday morning, but picking up kfc on the way there, filling out all my paperwork, making me laugh for about two hours straight, dropping off my prescription at cvs, and putting my hair up whenever i ask her. she really is the greatest friend i could ever ask for. sorry for getting emotional but the vicodin is really doing a number on me.

my hangover cures

one of my best friends turned 21 on wednesday so i pretty much died. like, we were cut-off at the bar. i've NEVER been cut-off before. buuuuut it was for the best because we got home and i was somehow more drunk than she was and was acting a fool in my living room. so needless to say i was in pain yesterday and the only two things that made me feel better both came from my big duck, A.

i usually don't like things that make me seem like a typical bitch but there are some exceptions, and one of them is the hunger games. i am obsessed with this shit for real. i got so excited when i saw the posters i almost threw up. that could have just been the hangover though. but for serious, i DIE for cinna.

the other girly shit that i'm obsessed with is jazzy nails. i go fucking nuts for glitter nail polish and when my sister told me to look at the muppets opi collection i thought it was only because i have a very real attraction to animal but boy was i wrong. this is my shit. SIX glittery nail polishes! are you fucking kidding me?! i hope you all enjoy my jazzy nails for the next three months.

rihanna's new video won me over. she can be my girl now.

i'm currently sitting on my couch alone chugging pumpkin beer because i'm too lazy to stand up and get my cellphone to contact my roommates. this is where i'm at in my life.

my life cycle

become so stressed out about my life that i start screaming at people for no reason, binge drink until i make a terrible decision, have a hangover induced epiphany that i have to change my life, realize that i am too baller to change.

rock me like a furricane

i'm really not concerned about the hurricane situation but my mother is a different story. it's as if cnn told her personally to prepare for the coming apocalypse. i'm not about to complain though because due to the weather i am in for a weekend of sister time, hurricane sangria and maple syrup cinnamon buns and those are three of my most favorite things so i'm very lucky. stay safe boners and don't try and be a hero.