my winter break has consisted of:

-being woken up by my mother screaming at my father/cable company/internet provider/her mother for something they "spitefully" did to her.
-laying in my bed.
-complaining about my elbow.
-getting out of obligations by saying i'm too fucked up off my pain medication to leave my bed.
-getting a hair cut the first week of break and complaining about it the rest of break.
-not showering regularly.
-being really proud of myself and expecting praise from everyone i know after i shower.
-waking up at 5am every other day and having a panic attack about how i need to update my resume.
-not updating my resume.
-watching the first six seasons of the west wing for the 2749347th time.
-going gluten free.
-telling anyone with ears about how hard it is to go gluten free.
-eating gluten and groaning in my bed for two hours.
-being social once a week and regretting it for the next five days.
-realizing i might just be too awkward to ever return to nyc ever again.

i need to go back to school.

if this doesn't make your day, i don't want to know you anymore

this... @thziegler1: still waiting for a brink 2. jussayin #wakeupdisney

reminded me that i had all of these permanently bookmarked forever. enjoy.

p.s. my friends jimmy, matt, and dodger were team pup 'n suds for halloween. they didn't get enough ass or credit for that.

not so unbreakable

i'm such a fucking joke. saturday night i was super classy and absurdly drunk at the annual winter formal (i looked great by the way, thanks for asking). it was honestly one of the best nights of the year but, one thing led to another and i woke up with a broken elbow. which fucking blows because it really wasn't an epic fall or story AT ALL  and it is my first broken bone. i always thought my first broken bone would be from getting too real with a polar bear or superman diving out a window. i'm still slightly confused about how i am such a fucking mess and still allowed to live.

but i must shout out to my girl big L for not only driving me to the er sunday morning, but picking up kfc on the way there, filling out all my paperwork, making me laugh for about two hours straight, dropping off my prescription at cvs, and putting my hair up whenever i ask her. she really is the greatest friend i could ever ask for. sorry for getting emotional but the vicodin is really doing a number on me.

it's official. i'm obsessed with rihanna. i mean, i've always been moderately into her but it always came with a healthy portion of annoyance and eye-rolling. this is no longer the case. i can't stop listening to talk that talk, we found love, and you da one. seriously. I. CAN'T. STOP. collectively these songs have been played 94 times on my iTunes since last week. i'm officially another annoying bitch at the party that screams when rihanna hits up the party playlist. i hate myself.

my hangover cures

one of my best friends turned 21 on wednesday so i pretty much died. like, we were cut-off at the bar. i've NEVER been cut-off before. buuuuut it was for the best because we got home and i was somehow more drunk than she was and was acting a fool in my living room. so needless to say i was in pain yesterday and the only two things that made me feel better both came from my big duck, A.

i usually don't like things that make me seem like a typical bitch but there are some exceptions, and one of them is the hunger games. i am obsessed with this shit for real. i got so excited when i saw the posters i almost threw up. that could have just been the hangover though. but for serious, i DIE for cinna.

the other girly shit that i'm obsessed with is jazzy nails. i go fucking nuts for glitter nail polish and when my sister told me to look at the muppets opi collection i thought it was only because i have a very real attraction to animal but boy was i wrong. this is my shit. SIX glittery nail polishes! are you fucking kidding me?! i hope you all enjoy my jazzy nails for the next three months.

so i got a new macbook pro and i’m completely obsessed with it. the only problem is that i’m always super scared of owning new things. i’m afraid that i’m going to drop it or touch it the wrong way or accidentally spill skinny vanilla latte all over the keyboard and break it forever. buuut, for right now i’m trying to ignore my crippling fear and enjoy pressing all the new fancy buttons.

because you never know when you might accidentally murder someone

guys! i saw the coolest/cutest kid today at work. he wore chucks and said things like "your shirt is fly." like, honestly i was about two shakes of a lambs tail away from stealing him from his parents. this is a big deal for me because i strongly dislike children. what most people don't know though is that at the root of my hatred is a very real fear that i'm going to accidentally kill one of them. i don't mean this in a "i'm going to lose my temper and press on their soft spot" type way. i mean it in the "i'm afraid i'm going to be standing behind one of them on the T landing, slip on a puddle of some homeless guy's piss, have my legs go out from under me and as i fall i kick it on the back of the head and send it flying onto the T tracks" way. i'm aware that this will probably NEVER FUCKING HAPPEN. but, i also never thought i would see michael jordan while on vacation in aruba. moral of the story is you never know what might happen so STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM KIDS and that kid was fucking cute.