my winter break has consisted of:

-being woken up by my mother screaming at my father/cable company/internet provider/her mother for something they "spitefully" did to her.
-laying in my bed.
-complaining about my elbow.
-getting out of obligations by saying i'm too fucked up off my pain medication to leave my bed.
-getting a hair cut the first week of break and complaining about it the rest of break.
-not showering regularly.
-being really proud of myself and expecting praise from everyone i know after i shower.
-waking up at 5am every other day and having a panic attack about how i need to update my resume.
-not updating my resume.
-watching the first six seasons of the west wing for the 2749347th time.
-going gluten free.
-telling anyone with ears about how hard it is to go gluten free.
-eating gluten and groaning in my bed for two hours.
-being social once a week and regretting it for the next five days.
-realizing i might just be too awkward to ever return to nyc ever again.

i need to go back to school.

so i’m probably the coolest human being alive about 85% of the time but tonight the other 15% is taking over. i’ve had a rough time at life the past five days, due to the fact that i lived without power, heat, hot water, cable, or internet for more than 20 hours which was pretty much the worst thing to ever happen since the holocaust. my lack of sleep and absurd work load hasn’t helped my situation much either. therefore, i shall be spending my night watching old episodes of dexter and no reservations while eating a calzone. it’s lounge o’clock son!

i'm currently sitting on my couch alone chugging pumpkin beer because i'm too lazy to stand up and get my cellphone to contact my roommates. this is where i'm at in my life.

WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK WEEDS?

i know i'm a day late on this one but seriously...

WHAT THE  SHIT JUST HAPPENED!!???

fall premieres

i'm not going to bore you with my many thoughts about this week's premieres so i'll just give you bullet points of my favorite shows. enjoy, boners.

new girl: so fucking adorable. i love me a good lotr reference.

up all night: exactly the kind of parent i want to be.

always sunny: "tighter than dick skin" is my new favorite thing to say.

archer: i still want to be his main squeeze.

rachel zoe: mandana is a poor replacement for taylor.

how i met your mother: holyshitholyshitholyshit. victoria is back bitches.

modern family: “just so you guys know there is a fan in my cabin that sounds like a man crying.” i love that lily talks now

parks & reac: i’m scared of tammy 1.

that's it for now but i CAN'T FUCKING WAIT for 30 rock. my girl liz lemon best be getting straaaange this season.

so long beautiful

my week has been filled with finales and premieres and let me tell you, did not one disappoint. but for now we are going to focus on the goodbyes i had to say this weekend.

i must start with my one and only. the one that i have loved most dearly for the past eight years; entourage. my relationship with entourage has been like most long term relationships, you want to ripe their face off at times but they are the one you want taking care of you when you are sick or sitting with you when you are just bored as fuck. i remember i was on vacation with my family in aruba when i snuck up to my hotel room while everyone was still enjoying the salty sea breeze or some shit and watched the series premiere. i wasn't allowed to watch hbo at the ripe old age of 12 so i had to sneak into my half-finished basement to watch it every sunday night for three years or my mom would have cut my balls off. but, like all unhealthy relationships, ours too had to end. they made me laugh for eight years but now that it's all over all i can think about is how mrs. ari's name is melissa and how perfectly it fits.

true blood is a whole different fucking story. they have been mind fucking me left and right for four years now and even though i have read the books (refrain from commenting on my nerdiness if you value your life) and know that sookie kills debbie. i can not fucking believe they could possibly even think about killing off my main bitch tara. alan ball and i need to have a serious chat.

this makes me happy

all day, everyday

if you know me you know i go batshit crazy for HBO's 24/7. right now it is all about the lead up to ortiz vs mayweather. however, even though ortiz has a very touching story, what with both his parents abandoning him and barely making it by his whole life. i can't help but be loving on mayweather's swagger. kid talks shit for DaYZz and i fucking love it. like, he's best friends with 50 and storms out of interviews. i'm in love.

usually i hate when guys have a bigger ego than me but floyd is something else. his record is mind blowing and he is baller as fuck. i'm thoroughly into him and what he's all about.